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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494858">I Miss You (and Sleeping, Somewhat)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansionofmisters/pseuds/mansionofmisters'>mansionofmisters</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>K (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, FINISH SEASON 1 BEFORE YOU READ THIS, Gen, Guilt, Insomnia, Quarantine Sucks, SPOILER ALERT LMAO, Spoilers, Winter nights, angsty af, iM BACK YALL, im sorry, mikorei angst, ok ty, sad munakata, stop with the covid jokes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:53:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494858</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansionofmisters/pseuds/mansionofmisters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>so uh basically munakata's  all sad n stuff</p><p>yeah</p><p>maybe i'll post more k-project fics, im lowkey obsessed with the fandom now aha</p><p>i loooove sarumi and mikorei &lt;33</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Munakata Reishi &amp; Suoh Mikoto, Munakata Reishi/Suoh Mikoto, mikorei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Miss You (and Sleeping, Somewhat)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sleep continued to prove itself elusive as Munakata tossed and turned in his bed, not for the first time that night. After a moment he sat up and grabbed his glasses, sliding them onto his face. He grabbed his PDA to check the time, sighing when he saw that it read 01:52. He had to get up to go to the office in a few hours, and he had not slept a wink. </p><p>Why, you ask?</p><p>A few days ago, he had been forced to kill the Third and Red King, Suoh Mikoto, in order to prevent a repeat of the Kagustu Crater event, in which a former Red King's Sword of Damocles had fallen, killing thousands upon thousands of people, as well as destroying a large portion of Japan, blowing it completely off the map. </p><p>Munakata kept trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing, that Suoh had knowingly pushed himself past his limit, pushed his Weissman level past its limit. That many if not all of the Ashinaka students would have died, not to mention the members of the Red and Blue Clans, also known as HOMRA and SCEPTER 4. </p><p>He dropped his head into his hands, remembering all too clearly how close Suoh's Sword of Damocles had been, the feeling of his sword slicing through the Red King's abdomen, the wet splash of blood dying the bright white snow a deep, dark red. The way Suoh had slumped forward into the Blue King's chest, whispering words that the latter couldn't hear. </p><p>If only he had, maybe then he wouldn't feel so awful. </p><p>Then the Red King's life had faded away with a sigh and Munakata had withdrawn his sword. In the distance he heard a young girl's heartbroken cry of anguish. </p><p>Munakata sighed and swung his legs over the side of his bed, massaging his temples. </p><p>"Maybe I should make myself some tea..."</p><p>He crossed his bedroom, opening the door to exit into the hallway. Taking slow, deliberate steps, he made his way into the kitchen, relishing the way the cold tiles made his feet ache slightly. Once in the kitchen, he filled a kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil. </p><p>While he waited, he opened a window, breathing in the winter night's chilly air. Under normal circumstances, it would have calmed him down, but the slight chill just made him flash back to the snowy day when he had taken on the burden of killing a King, so he would up slamming the window shut. He closed the curtains, too, just for good measure.</p><p>A tendril of steam rose from the kettle on the stove, reminding Munakata of Suoh once again. </p><p>Mere hours before the Red King's death, they had stood together, smoking. If the Blue King had been more assertive, then perhaps Suoh would have backed off, would still be alive. And Munakata could be sleeping peacefully right now. </p><p>He poured the kettle's heated contents and picked at the non-existent bits of blood that he was convinced were still caught between his cuticles. Despite them not really being there, he was sure that they always would be, regardless of how many times he washed his hands. </p><p>Maybe, just maybe, if he had taken up on Suoh's offer, things may have turned out differently. If he had set aside his duties as the Blue King and the Captain of SCEPTER 4's Special Police Force and stayed with Suoh in that jail cell, then perhaps things wouldn't have gone the way they had, and Suoh would be alive. </p><p>But then Totsuka Tatara's murderer, the Colorless King, would still be roaming free, doing as he pleased to whoever he pleased, possibly even killing more and more people. </p><p>So it wouldn't exactly have been a win-win situation. He had enjoyed the times he'd spent with Suoh, and they could've had more time together if Munakata had just taken Suoh up on his offer. </p><p>Unfortunately, Munakata still had too many other duties to fulfill as the Fourth and Blue King. He was an incredibly busy man and rarely had time to indulge in frivolous activities like socializing, especially not in the past few weeks, when he had tried to track down the Colorless King, not knowing that he had already abandoned the amber-eyed boy's body, leaving it to the Silver King.</p><p>All that effort, just to prevent the death of a man who would eventually die anyway. There was only one man who couldn't die, the one who started it all- the First and Silver King, Adolf K. Weissman, who hadn't made an appearance in over half a century, after his German hometown was bombed. </p><p>At least Munakata had tried, right? He'd imprisoned Suoh to prevent rash decisions from being made. He'd offered to personally execute the Colorless King. He had tried so hard, and yet each and every one of his efforts had been to no avail. </p><p>Suoh had killed the Colorless King, letting his Sword of Damocles fall. Munakata's swift actions had prevented the worst from happening. It was kill Suoh to prevent the deaths of everyone else, or let everyone die. He had saved hundreds, if not thousands of lives. </p><p>So why did he feel like he failed? Why did he feel so bad, so guilty?</p><p>Munakata chocked back a sob, heavy tears forming at the corners of his pale lavender eyes.</p><p>He almost wished he hadn't become the Blue King. Almost. But who else would have served as the leader of SCEPTER 4? Capable as she was, Awashima was no King. </p><p>It was Munakata's duty to keep himself detached not only from other people, but from his own feelings as well. So how could ha have gotten so attached to Suoh, of all people? They were nothing alike. The name 'King of Fire' had suited perfectly well. Just like a flame, he was violent, destructive, and short-fused, while Munakata was dignified and calm, making him more like a 'King of Ice'. </p><p>And just like a flame, Suoh had burned out. Munakata laughed at the bitter irony, taking a sip of his now lukewarm tea to clear his thoughts. </p><p>He had had to have killed Suoh. If he hadn't, the innocent Ashinaka students as well as many members of HOMRA and SCEPTER 4 would have died alongside the Blue and Red Kings. It had been for the greater good.</p><p>What was one life worth when others were on the line?</p><p>A single tear rolled down Munakata's alabaster cheek as he fingered a small silk pouch hanging around his neck, one he never intended letting anyone else see. Within the small pocket of sky blue fabric was a small silver earring, and heirloom of sorts. </p><p>He had taken it from Suoh as a 'memento', although it was really more of a reminder of the sin he had committed. It was the earring that Suoh had started wearing in his cartilage after the death of Totsuka, who's had the exact same piercing while he'd been alive. </p><p>There was something almost romantic about it, actually. </p><p>Munakata smiled wistfully and downed the rest of his tea, setting the empty cup in the sink. </p><p>He sighed once more and flicked off the kitchen light on the way back to his bedroom. Passing through the doorway, he let out an almost silent grumble.</p><p> </p><p>"... You always were quite irresponsible, weren't you, Suoh?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>haha i've risen from the grave</p><p>k is great </p><p> </p></blockquote></div></div>
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